The Death of the Sales Professional

“During Hurricanes, Roosters Think They Can Fly”


It has been reported in several sales-related publications, that somewhere between 60 to 65% of the people in sales, do not belong in sales. Over half of the people with the word "sales" in their title do not have the skills, aptitude or attitude to be an effective sales person. To many this comes as no great shock.

Years ago if you went into sales for a powerhouse sales-centric company like NCR or IBM, it would be 6, 12, even 18 months before you were allowed to speak to prospective client. You weren't ready. You hadn't had enough training and mentoring and you were not ready to present the value of the company in its best light. I have met many veterans from these training programs and their skills are amazing. A large percentage of the alumni went on to start other successful companies.

Well those days are now a distant memories, the thought of keeping a sales person (regardless of their skill set) out of the game for more than a few days is unthinkable. Someone figured out that it was far more cheap to hire as many salespeople as you can, throw them in the fire immediately, those that were good would rise to the top, those who stunk, you would cut loose in a few quarters, and the mediocre would be just that, mediocre. If you hired more good people, the mediocre would sink and you cut them loose, if you hired less qualified people, your mediocre would actually rise in the ranks. There are numerous companies out there that always are looking for sales people, because every quarter their bottom 10% performers are removed from the companies.

Abnormal market conditions can make mediocre, or even poor, salespeople think they are great. During the telecom days of the Internet bubble, if you sold for a telecom company you did great. Clients were lapping up everything that you could throw at them. There was little to no selling involved, it was order taking. Telecom sales people, fueled by huge commissions on huge deals to sound companies like flake.com, a breakfast cereal portal that never really took off, were spending and living large.

When flake.com and their dotcom cohorts where unable to buy anymore telecom equipment, guys who thought they were the best sales people in the world started to struggle. A personal measurement is I judge the effectiveness of a salesperson by their past 12 months results. If I have to make a spot evaluation I look at how quickly they go to the freebies. If you have one call with a vendor and the next day there's a logo'd Tshirt in your inbox, you are dealing with a moron.

The message here is when you come across a good salesperson, someone who understands your business, what you are trying to accomplish, and how their offering helps you achieve their goals, treat them with the respect that you would expect in return.

Signs Your Job is Getting to You

1. Even the Pope thinks you're a real A**hole

2. You've gained so much weight your calves fill up your boots to the point your legs look like they are engulfed by sausage casings

3. You can write a business plan in your sleep, wiping your butt? now there's a challenge.

4. Prisoners have a better family life

5. Number of Top Priority Projects > People who would pee on you if your ass was on fire

6. Saddam Hussein called you as a character witness

7. Much to your chagrin you discover there is some pain booze wont cure

8. You Called into the Jerry Lewis Telethon to belittle the kids and tell them how smart you are

9. Your Marriage breaks up when you fail to remove your blackberry from your line of site during foreplay

10. Your Facial ticks have devolved to the point that perfect strangers shove their wallets into your mouth, tell you to bite down, and call 911

Signs Your Sales Rep is a Moron

• They talk more than you do

• They try to create some remote, third-party connection with you. Ex. “Yeah, my cousin did time in your state. So we are like family.”

• Their system can do everything, just name it. Ex. “You want an open, yet proprietary architecture that will randomly reset the credentials in your enterprise single sign on layer? Oh heck, no problem.”

• They know nothing about your bank or town, but pretend they do. Ex. “Valdosta? Oh yeah, thats where they grow those onions. Its like a second home to me.”

• Their presentation is focused on the history of their company, the great things about their products, yet says nothing about how they will help you or why really you should do business with them. Ex. “Now that we are done with an overview of our products for the System36, lets talk pricing”

• They wont get off the phone even though you have said you are not interested 3 times. Ex. “Ok, I know that your bank really doesnt do anything with South American Derivates, but can you at least watch our demo?

• They trash the competition, a lot. Ex. “Im not saying that your core vendor likes to skin the pelts off puppies, but have you ever seen a puppy around their offices?”

Vendor to English Dictionary

VENDOR/
ENGLISH
“This is A Win/Win"
You didnt beat the hell out of me on price, and god how I love you for it.

"We are strategic platform for your entire bank"
We will own you, your data, and your little dog too

"We are not a vendor, but a partner"
We are a Vendor

"Our Value Add"
Those one or two things that we do different from the other 1000 vendors out there

"We are endorsed by your local banking association and/or user group"
Theres a good chance that I wrote a check to someone to be able to say that, and they will get a cut off any money you give me, and by the way, given a choice, I would rather be a partner with the Soprano family

"Our system is not compatible with 3rd party systems"
We want you to believe that we own you, and despite the fact that we sold you on our "open architecture" our system is more closed than Chik-Fil-A on a Sunday

"We provide a total solution"
We are one or two features behind the market on our technology so we compensate with Professional Services offerings

"This is cutting edge technology"
Beta Version

“Its coming in the next release"
I hope to all that is holy that this is coming in the next release

“Wow, thats really thinking outside the box"
You are an idiot

“Our RFP Response is Comprehensive, It tells you who we are as a company"
I have no clue what you are trying to pull off so I threw the kitchen sink into our response

"We are a best of breed solution"
We dont do much but this one thing

"Thats a pretty aggressive timeframe to be implemented"
Holy Crap, No Way Are You Going to Make that date

"So You are a consultant, well have a great time at the trade show"
Please get the hell away from my trade booth and get somebody in here that has the power to buy something

"This bank wins our door prize"
This bank has my contracts and is ready to sign

"We provide a platform"
We have two products

“Instead of providing you a local reference, I would like to provide you with a reference that shares more of your operational characteristics"
We dont have a reference in your area