Saturday, July 21, 2007

Signs Your Job is Getting to You

1. Even the Pope thinks you're a real A**hole

2. You've gained so much weight your calves fill up your boots to the point your legs look like they are engulfed by sausage casings

3. You can write a business plan in your sleep, wiping your butt? now there's a challenge.

4. Prisoners have a better family life

5. Number of Top Priority Projects > People who would pee on you if your ass was on fire

6. Saddam Hussein called you as a character witness

7. Much to your chagrin you discover there is some pain booze wont cure

8. You Called into the Jerry Lewis Telethon to belittle the kids and tell them how smart you are

9. Your Marriage breaks up when you fail to remove your blackberry from your line of site during foreplay

10. Your Facial ticks have devolved to the point that perfect strangers shove their wallets into your mouth, tell you to bite down, and call 911


Anonymous said...

Excellent list. The blackberry comment made me laugh out loud. Little too close to home, I suppose! :-)

Anonymous said...

Don't forget, "Puking in the VP of Sales' Gucci bag during an all-night drinking bender after calling her a 'backstabber' to her face at a company meeting."

kevin cahill said...

Guantanamo Bay seems like an excellent alternative to a three-day sales meeting at an airport hotel...

Anonymous said...

As long as you marry the Chairman's daughter, your job never gets to you.